The Only One Who Stayed
With wooden shutters down and yellow light turned on, the small classroom looked more like a confinement. The only thing brightening the place was the determination in the eyes of Indu Mitha. Mitha, a 73 year old, used to teach classical dance in a small classroom of a primary school in Islamabad. She is one of the country’s oldest Bharatanatyam dancer who ensured the survival of this form of classical dance through teaching. Her saree matched her white hair but her strength was unmatchable.
It was Islamabad, a peaceful city but intolerant in comparison to Karachi towards change and the last thing that crossed any conservative mind was Bharatanatyam.
Tha-ka-dhi-mmi tha-ka-tha-kita, Indu Mitha continued to teach the girls without anyone knowing about her dance classes except few who supported her.
Amna Mawaz was the only student who completed her training.
Mawaz was 11 years old when her mother decided to involve her in some extra-curricular activity to rein in all the restlessness. Mawaz’s eyes lit up at the thought of joining her new class- a class of Indu Mitha.
Mawaz has been a part of classical dancing for almost 18 years now, and it has helped her in every step of her life. It not only gives her a chance to learn about herself but also helps her to understand human relations better. Classical dancing taught her to connect with nature and It made her listen to rhythm of everything around her.
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As the years progressed the number of girls at Indu Mitha’s dance classes shrunk from 30 to 1. As most of the girls came to the class after doing two jobs without their families knowing. It was their passion that forced them to come to class every evening.
The number of girls kept declining with time; some left after their families got to know that they had been learning classical dance, while some were married off without their consent and the rest left because they were having a hard time juggling between job and family.
Mawaz considered herself lucky for the support she received from her mother. However, her mother supported her passion for classical dancing only as an extra-curricular activity and nothing beyond that. To cater the demands of her parents, Mawaz pursued a Master’s degree in Pakistan Studies and graduated at the age of 23 in 2013. In order to fuel her passion, she went to London in 2015 to study contemporary dance from Trinity Laban Conservatoire of Music and Dance.
However, Mawaz always faced backlash from her paternal side of family. Amna always felt a slight bit of discomfort whenever her Dadi called her a “Nachnay Wali”. She was not only a dancer; she was a storyteller.
One thing that remained the same all these years was her Dadi telling her: “Tera Dada zinda hota tau teri tangain torr deta."
Her father who was once against her dancing now sits in the audience and claps harder than anyone else. He still criticizes her but now his criticism is on her performances and not on her dancing.
Mawaz still remembers the time when her father had opposed the idea of his daughter becoming a professional classical dancer. He had even refused to attend her performances. She felt dejected but she made a promise to herself that one day she would make her father sit in the audience and applaud her performance. And she made sure of it.
From criticism to constructive feedback, it was a bittersweet journey for Mawaz.
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Art demands a special eye to catch the transcendence of ideas. In all these years, she’s unable to comprehend one thing that why Pakistanis consider classical dance un-Islamic. Why classical dance is stigmatized in Pakistan. Is it because a dancer’s body is moving? Isn’t everything in the universe from earth and moon to birds and trees moving; Or as Mawaz likes to call it, dancing.
The one excuse the majority gives to justify their resentment towards classical dance is “Tum Aurat ho, jism ki numaish kar rahi ho.”
Mawaz always laughs a little and shakes her head while saying that when will people understand the meaning behind her classical dance performances.
While Mawaz was doing her bachelors, Abaya, a black piece of cloth considered a shield for women, was a part of the uniform at her college. Mawaz reminisces how boys of all sorts harassed her on her way to college and asked for her number, even when she was covered from head to toe in that black garment. Mawaz feels that classical dance will continue to be stigmatized until the day it is aired on national television and is taught in educational institutions.
Amna Mawaz performing at International Women’s Empowerment conference at Marriott Hotel-2015
Amna performing Bharatnatym dance to present a creative visualisation of the contemporary life at PNCA, Islamabad
She has been a part of around 150 performances thus far, she has lost the count of it but her passion is still intact.
It took Mawaz 11 years to become a professional classical dancer. Mawaz recalls how she still gets awkward on stage and runs away immediately after a performance ends. Her friends have even advised her to behave gracefully.
It was 2005 when she had her first solo performance. She was only 16 and her heart was throbbing. She was standing still but one could see that she was moving against the rhythm of the society. She was extremely nervous with negative thoughts running her mind. What if she forgets the step? What if she falls on the stage? What if the audience doesn’t like her performance? All the negative thoughts were running through her mind.
Once she started performing, Mawaz forgot everything and got lost in her own world where everything and everyone else was dancing. She was performing on a descriptive piece called “Mukh Mor” which was about a girl getting in touch with her femininity. With every thump resounding on the floor, Khan diligently matched each rhythm of music and beat of the table with her ghunghroo, moving her feet from slow to fast paced beats.
Everyone in the audience applauded Mawaz for her mesmerizing performance, that made her awkward and she instantly retreated to the backstage.
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There was a time in Mawaz’s life where it seemed that her passion was rejecting her and she thought about the prospects of saying goodbye to classical dance. It was a time when her first marriage fell apart. Along with other factors, her dancing was one of the reasons she had a divorce. She was appalled when her own dance community told her to leave dance because now she was a divorcee polluting the name of classical dance.
Amna Mawaz during one of her practice sessions at PNCA, Islamabad
She gave her whole life to dance. She stood up for it when others left for countries where dancers were paid well. She stayed loyal to it when most of the dancers she knew abandoned it.
Now all those people were telling her to quit. She knew this was the time she has to show bravery.
She kept her spirits high and kept going. Now, Mawaz’s husband, Philip, from her second marriage supports her passion for dancing.
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Mawaz, fierce in her opinion yet humble in her actions, realized that it was not only dance, it was more than that. It was a medium for her where she could tell any story with her hand and body movements. Little did she know that in the coming years she would be raising voice for socio-political issues through her performances.
Mawaz’s first interaction with politics was when General Pervez Musharraf imposed emergency rule in 2007. She was a teenager and still a student. Knowing little about emergency and reality of politics, she protested along with her fellow students. When more students joined them, they formed Azad Awam, a theater that produced street plays. Mawaz remained the part of this theater group for few years. In the courses of these years, she learned the power of art. Later she joined the left wing of politics in 2012.
She was criticized heavily again for being a misfit in politics since people in Islamabad and Punjab believed that politics was all about sitting in parliament and talking about issues while dance was just a form of entertainment. Mawaz however had a strong opinion regarding this. She considers dance a medium of communication with the masses people and she believes this is what real politics is. For Mawaz, politics and classical dance are the two sides of the same coin.
From claims that Mawaz is an Indian spy to assertions that she wants to break Pakistan apart, Mawaz has heard and read all kinds of things about her.
Her father once got a call from an agency right after she protested for Salman Haider’s kidnapping. They told her father to tell his daughter to keep dancing and get out of politics, as she is the next target on their list.
“I feel more cautious now as I am expecting a baby, however in this bazar of tyranny if one remains quiet then what is the purpose of the tongue that Allah has blessed us with.”
She does not know what future holds for her but she is sure about one thing; she will continue to tell stories and she will continue to dance.
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